I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
