This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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