we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
