so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
