HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
wow bdsm is so cute
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
