Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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