a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
