My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
