I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
