Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
