I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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