Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
should my penis look like a turkey
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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