the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
