: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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