I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize