He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
