do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
