considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
