That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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