I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
