Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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