I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
