So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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