Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
