Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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