you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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