That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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