nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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