it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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