living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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