My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize