Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize