clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
