you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
