I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
