i just google imaged poop.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
