Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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