I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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