Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize