I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
