My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
