Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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