Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
