I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
