Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
