if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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