giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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