he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
