We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
