he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
