Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
