And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just cropdusted the office
im six kinds of drunk right now
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
