I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
