Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
