so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
