Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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