the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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