I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish you could order shots online.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Are we still banned from the library?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
