She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
