I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize