yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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