god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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