I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
