they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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