I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
