it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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