Sponge bath it is.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
