Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
