we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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