you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize