It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
