I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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