All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
