can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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