So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
