Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
